My pain box

This is a picture of what my pain box looks like. Or at least that's how I picture it looks like. Jen Seggar (http://challenge-by-choice.blogspot.com) once told me before a race in Tennessee that she was dealing with plantar fasciitis. I asked her how the hell she made it through long races. She told me that she just puts it all in her pain box and she doesn't think about until the race is over.

After doing these kinds of events a few times...I realized that it's not a bad purchase...so I went out and got my own pain box.

I'm not as good as keeping mine shut as Jen. I feel like I have everything squared away and the the mental demons start to creep in, telling me to stop, that I'm not fit enough, that I'm going to hyperventilate...and every once in a while one of them picks the lock to the pain box and everything starts to hurt...and I start to think that I should listen to the voices telling me to stop. But invariably I force them to the back of my mind, re-lock the box and continue on. That's the hardest part of racing for me and I would be lying if I said that I had control over them yet.

My last race in Colorado was a 24 Hour Mtn. biking affair, and by the afternoon of the second day one of those classic Colorado gusts was blowing across at a steady 35 mph. Of course the first leg of the course was directly into the wind. I was tired, not quite as fit as I wanted to be, and the idea of stopping started to become a little too tempting. I had wrecked hard on my first lap and though I had fought through some light injuries, they were beginning to take their toll. Eventually my times got to the point where it was agreed that I should be skipped for the last lap. I'm happy I didn't quit...but I wonder if I had better control over the mental side of things if I wouldn't have muscled through a little harder. Hard to say, I think I went hard for what I had, but I come from a long line of second-guessers, so the only way to know for sure is to keep trying to get better.

(Aside: The good news is that we finished second in that race. The winners were a crew of pure mountain bikers and our team was comprised entirely of adventure racers. The finish was great for us since we typically compete in events that are made up of multiple disciplines, so to finish second, and only by minutes at that against a team that is dedicated to their sport...let's just say it gave us the warm fuzzies.)

Tomorrow I run. I tweaked my foot and ankle this week, but I intend to put those injuries in my pain box and run hard. I'm using tomorrow as measuring stick of where I need to get to in order to be competitive with the local trail runners here

in New England...but I'm also trying to notch a victory over my own head. Tomorrow my pain box will look like this, and I'll let you know if stayed this way: